Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
