Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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