You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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