): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
