come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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