she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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