i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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