Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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