That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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