This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
