Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
