Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
