I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
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I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
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Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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