hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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