I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
