I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
