So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
