I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.