You work out of a Hotel?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Dating After Heartbreak
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?