Already got asked if we're dating
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
