Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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