There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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