Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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