3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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