Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
