i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
