So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
