so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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