We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
