never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize