Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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