so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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