check it out our google latitudes are spooning
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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