this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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