the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
