Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
