You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
