wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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