Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize