no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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