Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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