you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
