No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Randomize
