he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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