So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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