Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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