she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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