He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
