its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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