I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
