just come out here and I will go home with you...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
