just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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