I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize