whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Welp...herpes.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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