Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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