A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
