I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I smell like Dick and happiness
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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