i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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