oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
