Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
