You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize